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Writer's pictureWorking Mom Talks

Turning around a client relationship from unhappy and frustrated to valued and heard.



I think we can all agree we have been an "unhappy customer" at some point, whether it is with big things that matter most like our financial advisor missing a big detail that could of cost you money, or your lender not paying your insurance on time. To more simpler things like that promised fastest internet on the market, that can never just get you through one zoom meeting without going out. All the way down to the small things like that $6 coffee you save for "Only Fridays" that just wasn't made right. It can really put a damper on your day, right?


Yet sometimes it is hard when we are on the other end, taking the raised voice venting and frustrated long emails from the client. We take it personal, and then we find ourselves frustrated and like our ability to do our job well is being questioned. In moments like this, I try my best to change my thinking. I switch it from taking it as a personal hit on my reputation, to an opportunity to learn by finding the right tools to turn a negative situation into a positive customer experience. Instead of fearing an angry customer, a professional with a growth mindset should use the situation to improve themselves or service they provide and build a better relationship with their client.


It is easy to perceive an unhappy client as difficult.

The definition of Difficult is “needing much effort or skill to accomplish, deal with or understand."


Well I don't know about you but "extra effort" and "highly skilled" are qualities I worked hard to master and I pride myself on exemplifying both of those attributes.

So, in turn, "Handling Difficult" should be second nature to me right? Not always, but here are some tools I use to turn those seemingly "difficult" client relationships into strong ones. Where the client trusts me and knows I have their best interest in mind, even in the interim of strenuous situations.



Be quiet, and just listen

They’re angry, and they want to be heard. If this is their first interaction expressing their concerns, give them the floor and actively listen to what they have to say. It’s your customer’s time to express what they’re feeling and experiencing. Take the opportunity to listen and support them through the resolution process.

Bonus Tip

Taking opportunities to verbalize that you’re listening—use words like “I understand” or “of course.”
Focus on key words they use so you can mirror their language and acknowledge their feelings.

After being an active listener, acknowledge their concerns

This is more of a second part to the first tool---So often, even in our personal relationships, we just want to be heard. We want to know someone is listening and that they care how we feel. A simple acknowledgement of their frustrations and letting them know you understand can start a conversation that may have gone down hill fast, into a positive and productive one right from the start. Saving both you and the client any unnecessary frustrations.


Don't take it personal

You must be completely detached from any personal feelings you may have regarding the criticism or the unhappy feelings of the customer when handling their complaints. You’re not the target of their complaint most often, so keep your personal feelings out of it and look at it like you are both finding a solution together, not against each other.


Pretend like all of your customers are watching

Pretend you are talking not only to the customer, but also to an audience that is watching the interaction. Pretend like sweet Mrs. Betty who always asks about your kids is watching, Pretend like John who you are supposed to meet with to talk business strategy next week is watching, hell pretend like your Grandma who raised you to be kind in any situations is watching. This shift in perspective can provide an emotional buffer if the customer is being verbally irate, and will allow you to think more clearly and offer a calmer response.


Set clear expectations

Setting clear expectations can take a lot of the guess work out of the interactions you have with clients. By letting them know a timeline, or even the difficulties that may cause delays, you give them a sense of knowing and involvement that they may be looking for. Saying things like "I have a few projects that will need to be completed first, then I will get to this and have it to you by the end of the week" or " I am at the mercy of waiting on an underwriter to approve this, while I don't have a set timeline for you I can assure you I will send it over as soon as it is available". Simple and clear expectations even when they were hoping for something quicker or a different answer, will aid in any upset caused by a client feeling like they were left out of the know.


This ones not as easy, but set boundaries

It is okay to set boundaries with clients and let them know if they can not remain calm during the conversation it may be best for you to reschedule the call for a time when they can.

Here are some of the phrases I use to set boundaries professionally:

  • Would you like me to give you a call back at a time where you feel more calm?

  • I will not be spoken to disrespectfully, is there another way you would like to phrase that?

  • I understand we all get frustrated and I want to hear your reasoning, but I can not understand your concerns when you are raising your voice.

  • I am here to find a solution, are we on the same page with that goal?


Solutions should be in writing

Document the resolution process you take, including the path to resolution and what changes you may need to implement to prevent another occurrence. Even better, send it is a follow up email to your call/meeting. It puts everyone on the same page and you can reference back to it should the client become upset again.



It's easy to get upset by a client who is less than happy with you, by taking a moment to shift your mindset and use it as an opportunity for growth, you will make yourself better as a professional and walk away from the interaction feeling accomplished rather than letting it ruin your entire day. So the next time you have an upset client, utilize some of these tips and see if you don't have an entirely new outlook on handling a "unique" client.


Bonus, Bonus tip: some of these tools can be used with an upset partner, friend or child as well!

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